Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby Mel » Tue Aug 07, 2012 2:20 pm

Hi! I'm Mel, and this is my first post here. Like many Portal fans, I've been wondering who Chell's parents are. The most common online theory is Cave/Caroline, but I've found a seldom-seen official source that disproves this. That source is the officially liscensed potatOS kit, which comes with a more complete version of the infamous Bring Your Daughter To Work Day poster. This poster contains new content from Valve's writers, so I consider it to be canon. You can see a picture of it here: http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/additional/large/eb0a_portal_2_potatos_science_kit_art.jpg Or just read the text which I've transposed here:

Quote:
Energy of the Future!
PROBLEM
My dad said somebody at the cafeteria ordered too many potatoes so everybody has to do a science project on potatoes now for Take Your Daughter to Work Day and lunch will be french fries. Mr. Johnson said we could use as many potatoes as we liked for our projects but I’m only going to use one. I asked my dad if I could do a different project because I already did a potato battery project in class last year and he said no, Mr. Johnson would get mad.
HYPOTHESIS
Probably the potato will do the same thing it did last year for my class project, except maybe not because I had a new potato last time and this one is pretty old. My dad says his hypothesis is that whoever ordered all the potatoes will probably get fired.
CONCLUSIONS
Last time my potato battery produced 1.5 volts. This time it got 1.6, so I guess it doesn’t matter how old the potato is. The current from the potato battery did not produce enough volts to power anything important. If I used more potatoes maybe I could have gotten more volts, but the one dad brought home smelled and I didn’t want more.
by CHELL


This clears up a few plot issues. First of all, we know that Chell's father couldn't have been Cave, because she repeatedly refers to "dad" and "Mr. Johnson" as different people. Also, the old 1.5 volts joke reappears, along with little Chell's naive comment that it "isn't enough to power anything important."

Let the discussion commence!!
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby Brainstone » Tue Aug 07, 2012 4:52 pm

I don't care about any hypotheses or unpublished sources. However, that is FREAKING HILARIOUS.

:wut:
EDIT: First time I actually got to use this pic. It doesn't look funny. More scary.
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby ChickenMobile » Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:38 pm

It would be funny if Rattman was Chell's father. Not likely xD
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby UsCobra11 » Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:47 pm

ChickenMobile wrote:
It would be funny if Rattman was Chell's father. Not likely xD


It's actually pretty likely... I mean, what's the reasoning behind Doug tracking and saving Chell? And, he was an employee, therefore could be the father of Chell in bring your daughter to work day.
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby MasterLagger » Tue Aug 07, 2012 9:18 pm

UsCobra11 wrote:
ChickenMobile wrote:
It would be funny if Rattman was Chell's father. Not likely xD


It's actually pretty likely... I mean, what's the reasoning behind Doug tracking and saving Chell? And, he was an employee, therefore could be the father of Chell in bring your daughter to work day.

I can't see Chell having the last name "Rattman."
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby Alexander Bell » Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:27 pm

No, there was a convo between him and his ccube that went like


Cube: Why her?
Rat: I don't know
Cube: Did she have the highest IQ score?
Rat: No.
Cube: The highest agility?
Rat: No.
Cube: Then why her?
Rat: Just a hunch.

But it is a possibility.
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby Yenwood » Thu Aug 09, 2012 11:02 am

UsCobra11 wrote:
It's actually pretty likely... I mean, what's the reasoning behind Doug tracking and saving Chell? And, he was an employee, therefore could be the father of Chell in bring your daughter to work day.

He wanted GLaDOS dead. Chell was the only one he felt he could do it.
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby tanger2b » Thu Aug 09, 2012 12:35 pm

Is it too much to assume that GLaDOS was telling the truth and she really is an orphan?
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby Kaleido » Fri Aug 10, 2012 11:24 pm

tanger2b wrote:
Is it too much to assume that GLaDOS was telling the truth and she really is an orphan?


Considering every single other thing she's said throughout both games is a lie, it's a pretty fair assumption that that is too.
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby Alexander Bell » Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:50 am

Everything hurtful she said in both games was the truth (except for the whole "You're fat, Chell" thing. So it could be.
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby Aicxe » Thu Aug 16, 2012 11:34 am

Considering the fact that Aperture most likely picked orphans and homeless people as Test Subjects (see Portal memo below), and with Chell's dad probably dead, GLaDOS was probably right about the whole orphan thing.

But still, Chell's answer, written in binary code, to Essay Question 1-A: "Why should Aperture Science accept you as a research volunteer and would anyone file a police report if you went missing?" is proof that she *is* highly intelligent.


Chell's answer to Essay Question 1-A: http://www.thinkwithportals.com/comic/#9
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby Alexander Bell » Thu Aug 16, 2012 12:50 pm

Where did you even find that?
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby Aicxe » Thu Aug 16, 2012 4:18 pm

Aicxe wrote:
This image is from the Portal ARG, ...


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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby Fracture » Sat Aug 18, 2012 2:54 pm

what if chell's parents gave her up for adoption at her birth because they were too busy with their science at the enrichment center. Maybe her foster parents were other employees in the center. Perhaps her last name being redacted was meant to make it infinitely debateable
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Re: Official PROOF that Cave is NOT Chell's father

Postby Lamarr » Sun Aug 19, 2012 10:03 am

I though that everyone knew by now that this is Chell's actual story.
It was a "bring your daughter to work day" when GlaDos got turned on so Chell had been captured by her for later testing.
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